If you've seen some of my old films, you know that it's not uncommon for me to star in my short films. With nearly a dozen short films under my belt, I play the lead in almost half of them. With limited resources and a desire to create, I learned that acting in my own films was not only practical but also a rewarding way to express my vision. Throughout my filmmaking journey, I’ve discovered the unique challenges and rewards of taking on the dual role of actor and director.
Before I started exploring filmmaking in my teens, I was deeply involved in acting, dreaming as a child of starring on Broadway. When I was around nine, I co-starred in a short series called "Iron Play", directed by Jasmine McCartney. (Fun fact: I recently found it on YouTube!) This was my first experience acting on film, and I remember loving every moment. Being on set gave me an early glimpse into film production, and I even used the screenplay from that project as a reference when formatting my first scripts.
Not long after, I shifted from acting to dance, spending years training in ballet. It wasn’t until I moved to Hawai’i that I even considered acting again.
Relocating to Maui marked the beginning of my journey in film and photography. I joined an environmental film group called Maui Huliau, and one of our first projects was a short film called *Earth Doctor*, where the Earth visits a doctor for her troubling symptoms. Initially, we planned for one of the guys to play Earth, but then we thought it made more sense if Earth were a female—"Mother Earth." I honestly don’t remember exactly how it was decided, but the next thing I knew, I was in a giant Earth suit, stuffed with coats to make it look round.
I think I was a pretty good earth if I do say so myself.
To be honest, as much as I've enjoyed acting over the years, it took forever to convince myself to act in my shorts. Why? Well by age 13, when I was just getting my feet wet in film, I had solely convinced myself that to make a decent short film, I needed a $5000 budget and a cast and crew. In my eyes, it was impossible to produce anything of quality without that. The problem was I didn't have friends who shared the same enthusiasm and passion for filmmaking as I did. Despite being a part of the environmental film group, many of my peers preferred to focus on the scientific and political side of things rather than the filmmaking.
What finally pushed me into acting in my films? I didn't have a choice. What I mean by that is I was so eager to shoot my first independent movie. The year prior I had written a pretty decent script and was ready to produce it. I even had actors secured to star in it...and by actors I mean two teen guys who agreed to help me out. I was of course ecstatic until rehearsals started.
The theme of the story was showing the contrast between God's love and religious expectations. Unfortunately, the boys felt that I was missing the part about God's love and that it was giving a negative perspective on Christianity. Instead of simply moving on and searching for other candidates, I spent weeks with them going over the script, changing the whole story trying to fit their standards all so they would still be a part of the project.
In the end, they still disagreed with the message being shared and dropped out completely.
While it was of course disappointing, even I realized that it was probably for the best. Not to be discouraged, I began my quest for other actors. I created flyers and reached out to high schools, colleges, youth groups, and the two teen acting schools here on Maui. I thought for sure I'd get flooded with eager participants who wanted to star in my short.
No one even responded.
It hit me how challenging it is to find actors, especially with no portfolio or experience to show. I kept writing scripts but felt stuck, unsure how to kickstart my projects. In the end, God knew exactly what I needed to push forward.
In 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic changed everything. Schools were shutting down, and while being homeschooled helped me adjust smoothly, the lockdown unexpectedly opened doors. A film program in LA that usually held an in-person, 72-hour film contest adapted it to a virtual format due to the pandemic. Now, participants would make films with their families and screen them online, opening the contest to people all over the country—including me.
It was my first ever film, and I was elated. The realization that I can act in my own stuff opened a whole new door for me. Producing films was no longer off-limits.
I ended up shooting a few more no-budget shorts, all of which taught me different ways of telling stories as well as technical skills. Creating my short film "Wake Up" gave me the confidence to produce the film "Silence" shortly after. It was my first short film featuring a different lead actress and is to this day considered a huge milestone for me.
About a year after creating Silence, I produced another short film called "The Reconnection" specifically for a contest with the Hawaiian International Film Festival. I was stumped for months on an idea, but finally started shooting just two weeks before the deadline. This time, I knew from the start that I’d be acting in it.
The Reconnection is one of my strongest and most successful films to date. What’s interesting is that if I’d still believed I needed to hire a full cast to make my films, this one might never have come to life. Ironically, I was nominated for a "Best Actress" award and actually was approached by a talent agent who saw the film.
Now, as I enter pre-production for my next film, I’m seriously considering acting in it myself, though nothing is confirmed yet. Because of the nature of this film, starring in it myself would in a sense make it extremely producable. If I were to hire other actors, I have to consider many added factors including locations as well as feeding everyone. IIn comparison, if I star in it myself, even if I bring on a friend to help me out I can shoot everything at my house and keep some snacks on standby so I can keep moving.
If I'm being honest, it's still a push to act in my own stuff. Not because I doubt that I can, but more so out of preference. I genuinely enjoy working with actors and watching my visions come to life. I notice when I'm acting and directing, it's hard to fully see it come to life in the same way since I'm so deeply involved.
I do feel that He's pushing me to remember to utilize the gift He's given me though. A big reason I find that I tend to shy away from it is becasue I often will oversimplify a story the moment I realize I'd be starring in it. The reason for this is, while I'm confident in my technical abilities, I still feel that I lack in my acting skills and therefore won't be able to fully execute complicated emotions or complex scenes as well. While I'd be more than comfortable with hiring an actress who I feel could embody the character well, I get the feeling that Adonai, Who once used these projects to grow my technical expertise, now wants to grow me in my acting as well.
Whatever I end up deciding for this film, I can say that I am happy I listened and let God use those early solo projects. It is throught them the He taught me how to craft compelling stories, capture quality visuals and audio, and build a portfolio without the pressure of high stakes. That portfolio now gives me credibility as I begin working on larger projects with real budgets and full crews.
After producing "Brisé", which featured multiple actors and extras, I can only thank Adonai for not letting me rush into a $5,000 production with a large cast before I had the experience to handle it well.
Thank you for reading! I hope my journey from acting to directing inspires you to embrace your own creative endeavors, no matter the challenges you face. If you have any experiences or thoughts about juggling multiple roles in filmmaking, I’d love to hear them—please share in the comments below!
Stay connected! Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, behind-the-scenes updates, and tips on filmmaking and acting delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here!
You can also follow me on social media for real-time updates and to join the conversation:
Related Links:
Thank you again for your support, and I can’t wait to share more of my journey with you!
Blessings,
Amia
Comments