In my last post, I briefly discussed one of my first scripts. It was supposed to be the first film I produced, but it ended up falling through as I was unable to secure actors to star in it. As I had mentioned, I originally had two actors who agreed to act in it. Upon reading the script, they decided that they were no longer interested and backed out of the project. A couple of months after searching for replacements and finding none, I set aside the thought of producing the film right now. However, I didn't stop working on the script, and whether that was a good or bad thing is up to interpretation.
Before I share my experiences on this project, let me tell you what the original concept was. "Waves" is about Titus, a recent high-school graduate questioning whether or not God was truly good or not. His playful and ocean-loving twin Timmy tried to share God's love with Titus. Their father, a strict religious man, made Titus feel as though God's approval and salvation could only be earned by following laws and obeying a controlling deity's every wish. After Timmy gets into a surfing accident and tragically dies, Titus struggles to conclude if God is Who his dad says He is, or if God is instead loving and merciful like his brother told him.
See, even though I had concluded that the original cast I had wouldn't be a good fit if they didn't like the story, their words stuck. I continued to "revise" the script. The overall theme stayed the same at first: a young man questioning whether or not God was good, eventually experiencing God's love for himself.
When discussing the problem with a professional writer, he explained that while I had a strong script, it was lacking what is called an External Goal. While it was clear that my character needed to reconnect with God, he didn't have a want or a goal he was striving for.
Looking back, I now see his goal. Titus' need was to encounter God's love for himself, but his goal was to conclude who God truly was relying solely on research and personal experience. Had I understood this then, a few simple tweaks and revisions would have sufficed, and then the script would have been a solid one I could successfully produce in due time.
I didn't understand this at that point though. I struggled to understand fully what my story was about. It didn't help that each draft was met with the pressure of sharing it with my actors to review to see if they approved. That should've been my first sign that something was off. I completely respect them opening up and deciding not to participate if they didn't agree with the message, but the answer for me wasn't to then compromise on the story I was telling to appease them. That is unfortunately what I did though, as I was desperate to keep them on board.
After my actors finally decided to drop out, I kept rewriting in hopes of finding clarity. I believed that my story wasn't enough. So I changed it. It started with Titus wanting to understand who God was, then it changed into him not wanting to get baptized, then it was conquering his fear of the ocean...at one point it even turned into a castaway situation.
Through these rewrites, I can't remember if I consulted with Adonai or not, but I know for a fact that I certainly turned to the world for answers. My days were spent watching countless videos and reading hundreds of books on film and writing, all of which told me something different.
Finally, I gave it up.
The break was needed, and I was able to produce other works, one of those being my short film "Silence".
I consider Silence a milestone for me, given that it was my first larger project. See, the thing about Silence was that it was based on something that meant a lot to me. Naturally, I produced it with a grounded mindset and had a focused goal of telling the story that was in my heart. Afterward, it began getting selected into film festivals, the first of my films to do so. Exciting? You bet, but I knew it couldn't stop there. The ball was rolling, and I had a strong urge to make another film that would receive the same amount of success as Silence.
I had it on my heart to revisit the original story of Waves. I certainly had far more technical knowledge to pull it off this time. As I was looking back, I still doubted that my first draft was any good, and decided to continue with my revisions. During this time, I continued researching, and I wondered if it was possible to turn this 10-minute short into a 90-minute feature film. Eventually, I ended up with a 50-minute script.
I didn't pray about this, I just jumped in. The sad thing is that 1) at the time I don't think I was ready to handle the reality of producing a feature film, especially with only one 10-minute film under my belt at the time, and 2) I never really slowed down enough and let Adonai show me the story. I took all of the information I was receiving from online sources, combined it with other Christian movies (completely unrelated to my original story), and wrote a draft that had plenty of drama but not much direction. Drama was what people would want to see, right?
Because another film with the same exact title and a similar genre had just been released, I changed the title from Waves to Nā Nalu Nui (Large Waves in Hawaiian). My number one goal when producing Nā Nalu Nui was no longer to make a film that glorified God or even to challenge myself creatively. The goal was to get it into film festivals, specifically the Maui Film Festival. People had shared with me how difficult it was to get selected into this festival, and I was determined to make a feature that would receive that coveted laurel.
With this in mind, I began casting, returning to the same schools and colleges I'd contacted before. Not surprisingly, I received little interest. I began searching for anyone who would be willing to participate, whether they acted or not. Another big mistake. I have nothing against working with non-actors and have done it plenty of times, but bringing on someone who's never acted or has an inkling of interest in that field to star in a dialogue-heavy, emotional feature film drama was maybe not the smartest choice. Had it been something that God directed, then that is a completely different story. But He didn't tell me to do it, my desperation that I wouldn't find anyone else did.
Once again, I found two guys who were willing to help out, but once I shared my vision and exactly what it was I wanted to do, they backed out. This time, I think it was less about the story and more about the commitment I was requiring and the lack of experience I had. I moved on and ended up casting a friend who went to our church to play the lead. Then I found a professional actor on Oahu who wanted to play the dad.
The actor from Oahu also ended up dropping out, and I think it was a similar situation as before: I just didn't have the experience needed to pull this off.
It's a fine balance between being ambitious and being realistic. If it was Adonai telling me to produce this, things would've been different. Not only that, but He would've been able to show me what I needed to put in place to achieve this. For me, I had no plan for the most part. No budget, no schedule, and no shot list-I didn't even ask one of the main locations I was planning on filming in if we were even allowed to utilize the space. I saw nothing wrong at the time: in my eyes since I was relying on God everything would be ok. The problem was that I wasn't.
We decided to start shooting with what we had. From day one, I had my second thoughts right away. I'm so thankful to my lead actor for being willing to help out, but once again it was a difficult script to pull off even with training, let alone without any experience. I also hadn't directed actors enough to know how to express exactly what I was looking for. Because of this, I wasn't getting the results I wanted. I should've stopped right there and took time to reevaluate. Instead, I pressed on.
As I realized that I wasn't going to be able to find an actor to play the dad, I pivoted. The feature version wouldn't be possible without the dad, so I rewrote it and decided to make it a 15-minute short. We kept filming.
After a hectic 3 months in production, I took it to the editing room where my disappointment sunk in. The scenes weren't connecting and felt very random and jarring, the acting felt unnatural, and overall the story just wasn't making sense. Ironically, the one thing I felt my story was lacking before was what ended up hurting it. In this version, I incorporated all the drama I thought was needed, but it felt as if each scene was a random event that was meant to keep the audience emotionally invested without having any clear direction or message. The story, the most important part of any film, was lacking.
Here's the thing, all of this happened I believe because I took it into my own hands. Had it been Adonai guiding my steps and determining my decisions, I think I could've made a great film. Instead, I got caught up in making something that people would want to see rather than what God was asking. We didn't get into the Maui Film Festival. 5 more rejection letters later, the very thing I aimed to do was no longer even a consideration. I was ready to quit filmmaking right there - but that's a story for another time.
It reminds me of the Bible verse "He that loveth his life shall lose it, and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal." (John 12:25). The very thing I was chasing prevented me from making wise choices and in the end producing something that was not only rejected from festivals but more importantly was so far from what I had envisioned.
Of course though, what the enemy meant for evil, Adonai will use for good. I don't think it was necessarily wrong that I had the ambition, but the issue was that my reasoning for doing so was solely based on earthly results. It's really interesting too, during a time of prayer over the film I felt Adonai was warning me that it would be difficult to create. He wasn't kidding. Out of every film I've made up until now, this one was by far the most challenging and had the most things go wrong. I'm still proud of younger me for being able to finish it.
I've learned so much from that project. It taught me the importance of taking as much time as necessary in development and pre-production before I even think about filming. It taught me to listen to my na'au (gut) when things feel off. It taught me to never compromise my vision to gain backing or support from people who may not see things the same. And, most importantly, it reminds me to always ensure that I am producing for the right reasons and letting Him guide my steps, rather than me doing everything in my power to make it happen.
I've considered revisiting the original story, the one that He had given me in the first place. Maybe I'll produce it. Maybe I won't. Overall, I've taken away valuable lessons from that film.
Never rush into production before you're ready.
Never compromise on the story.
Always make sure Adonai is the One in charge and that He's the One guiding every step and decision along the way.
Thank you for reading! I hope that my experience with "Nā Nalu Nui" and the lessons I’ve learned inspire you to approach your own creative projects with patience and purpose. If you’ve faced challenges in developing a vision or staying true to your story, I’d love to hear about your experiences—please share in the comments below!
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Thank you again for your support, and I can’t wait to share more of my journey with you!
Blessings,
Amia
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